email to Luana

December, 1997

Holiday Greetings

As I contemplate 1997, and the opportunities that 1998 may bring, there are a few personal thoughts I would like to share with you. As my subscribers know, the last 2 years have been challenging for our family. On December 22 we will mark the 2nd anniversary of our daughter Hanna’s death. A month later we will celebrate the 1^st birthday of our baby Sam. It is all bound up together in the same bittersweet strand, woven into the multi-textured tapestry of this life. The year of our loss was the most difficult of my life, and yet it contained the joy of being pregnant again so quickly. This year – the year of Sammy’s birth – has been a year of healing and ecstasy… interwoven with the continuing grief process. I have come to have a new perspective about the vastness of the Universe and the limitations of our comprehension. As with any spiritual path, I have experienced how the more you learn, the less you realize you actually know.

After arriving in the new depths (or heights) of knowing nothing, I can say this: I am ALIVE. You cannot experience the burning bittersweet fire of joy and loss without feeling incredibly alive. The interesting thing is how it brings up the parts of the self that feel dead, begging, screaming for attention. It is the irony of polarized opposites, of this duality that we still live in. In the last Lightworks issue we explored a set of polarities expressed within the houses and signs of an astrology chart. Many of you responded with recognition, seeing the archetypal patterns that manifest in your lives. I’d like to explore the irony of extreme opposites again, in the astrology article "Eyes on the Sky."

One extreme that is brought into focus at this time of year is the stress of being overwhelmed. Why is it that we let the holidays bring out the best AND the worst in us? We want to express unconditional love with the perfect gift, but we end up with short tempers in long lines and wonder if it is worth it. We want to give and receive the spirit of the season, but instead may be drawn into old family patterns of self-protection and withdrawal. We oscillate between wanting to party, and wanting to stay home with the phone off the hook. We want to enjoy our dear friendships, but we don’t have the energy/time/money to do it. We want so desperately to share the warmth of the holidays with a special person, but may fall into depression when reality doesn’t meet our desires or expectations. What is going on?

As with any ceremony or ritual where Spirit is present, that which needs to be healed is magnified. The tears that spring to our eyes as we sing "Auld Lang Syne" on New Year’s Eve come from the same place as wedding ceremony tears, graduation tears, birth - and death tears. It is a feeling that makes us feel fiercely alive – and brings up the places within that feel dead. Christmas may be seen as a sentimental commercialized holiday by some, but its roots are in the ecstasy of spirit. It is an opportunity to reach past the layers of projection and illusion, to experience the core truth of its origins. (The Winter Solstice.) On the longest night of the year, we celebrate the return of the Sun. Strange, isn’t it? In the Dark Night of the Soul, we look for the coming Dawn. One cannot exist without the other. It is as much a mistake to focus just on the darkness, as on the light. We must integrate them both into a complete reality.

This year as you prepare for the traditional rituals of the holidays, in your home and your community, consider what parts of self are being brought to the surface for healing. Tap into the deep taproot of holiday tradition, to the pure core of its spiritual essence. What is it you want most to experience, to give, in this holiday season? For those of you who have recently gone through one of Pluto’s trails by fire, you have the opportunity to begin anew; to see with new eyes and love with a pure heart. What is the purest expression of this feeling, that you can share with others? How can you peel away the layers of what you think you should do, what society tells you to do, even what the other person expects you to do? How can you arrive at a pure expression of love? Can you be honest with yourself about your giving: is it selfless or convenient compassion?

The holiday season is a microcosm of a bigger-picture issue. Out there in the macrocosm, people are burning out from doing too much, and then withdrawing completely. The pendulum swings from total overwhelm, to total isolation, in some cases. People are so stressed that they can’t take advantage of the loving support that comes from friendships and family, and then they withdraw completely so they are even less available to receive from others. You’ve seen it around you: friends and associates leaving lucrative careers, long-term marriages, moving to a different state, giving up a big house for a piece of land, living in a reclusive environment and craving simplicity. Will these drastic moves work for dynamic, creative, previously social people? How long will it be until the pendulum loops back again? Can they find a way to bring the pendulum to rest in the middle? Can they recreate a sense of community without feeling drained?

Only they can answer these questions for themselves. When we observe others going through these changes, it is hard not to have an opinion. That’s because there is a part of us that may want to escape with them. But then, we have our own lives to live… our own pendulums to balance.

This year, if you feel the urge to withdraw from the very loved ones you wanted to spend the holidays with, consider this:

You may have noticed that this idea of simplicity is not a new one. There are classes, books, and groups which support the idea. Please note the ad/announcement in this issue for the support group based on the book: "Your Money or Your Life." Give Carrie a call if you are interested in pursuing these ideas!

Local Space and Relocation Astrology