email to Luana

May, 1997

Solving the Mystery

We humans are constantly drawn to the unknown. Whether we do it by studying mysticism or buying a mystery novel, doing scientific research or having our palm read, there is something within driving us to solve the riddle, or complete the puzzle. Movies and TV shows depicting private investigators and unsolved murders are very popular with the general public. Media speculation about homicides, airplane crashes, and explosives is fed by the masses’ appetite. From "Unsolved Mysteries" to "Mysteries of the Ages" we gather clues almost obsessively about hidden information. As a society, our need to know "why?" and "how?" often borders on insanity. I have heard the same individuals who chastise the press for trashy coverage of our local Ramsey murder, also discuss amongst their peers about "who did it," engaging in their own speculation. Ultimately, it boils down to a desire to know the Unknowable, the karmic and cosmic "why" of our reality.

Our need to know "why?" as a society, and as individuals, is an addiction of sorts. Why - is it so important for us to know? Does believing you know the answer make it any different? We are so uncomfortable with the mysteries of Life, that we must compulsively jump in and define it… even at the expense of the Truth. We often feel we must establish a personal truth, instead of waiting (perhaps a long time) for the illumination of a more absolute truth, a higher or Universal Truth. Even within the spiritual/New Age community, I see this addiction reaching huge proportions. As the vibrational frequency continues its exponential acceleration, more people become desperate to "know" the truth so they don’t have to walk the sometimes lengthy path to reach a higher Knowingness. Many in the spiritual community know intellectually about the concept of Being; but emotionally they still want to be in control by knowing: they confuse information with understanding.

What is the difference between a cult and a spiritual community? Between a bad psychic, and a spiritual teacher? Why do some people have such a hard time distinguishing between the two? The more addicted people are to knowing "why" and "how", the more likely they are to choose an unwise association. It is painful for these people to immerse themselves in the mystery of life: they want someone else to solve the mystery for them. Their desperation leaves them defenseless, and their perception of reality is clouded… leaving them ripe for exploitation.

It is now, during these challenging times when we must all find the teacher, the mentor, the wise one within. While others are turning to outside sources to fulfill their needs, the centered few are turning to their inner resources. We must all become teachers and mentors; for ourselves, and for those who come to us to share our knowledge.

The other side of the coin are those who believe they "know" - and are on a mission to tell everyone their truth. This is a very dangerous karmic path, but these people often believe they have a divine mission to tell everyone their truth, disguised as "sharing". Sometimes they just believe they are smarter than everyone else. No, I am not just talking about the fundamentalists, but also those within our community who somehow rationalize that it is ok for them to do it. ("I’m not brainwashing: I’m educating.") Again, I am amazed at those who can criticize proselytizers, and yet turn around and attack others because they believe they possess an absolute truth about Spirit, health, nutrition, child-rearing, the environment, politics, you name it…

When we stray away from centered Beingness (our original state) we can become overly-charismatic speakers - or hungry listeners. Those who speculate and offer to answer "why" and "how" inappropriately are codependent - upon those who must feed their addiction to solving the mystery. For those who go into the helping professions, whether it be in the spiritual, psychological or medical areas, it is a dangerous and draining trap to fall into. They might not say "I have the one answer that will save you." - but they may present themselves as all-knowing. The karmic repercussions manifest in very clear ways, and those who are paying attention will make big changes at some point in their career because of this. (See my article on Healer Burnout in the March/April issue of Nexus) The more rooted one is in "I have the answer", the more they will draw those who desperately seek the answer. This is a formula for disaster. Those who claim to know all, and those who seek the answer, are the two polarized extremes of the same illusion. They are yin and yang to each other, forever swirling around the others’ need until they realize the entrapment of their self-deception.

The reality is, we must all find the answers for ourselves. One person’s enlightenment can be another’s blindness. We each have our own path, and ultimately, we must find our own way upon it. This is why, when we reach a certain level in our spiritual evolution, no-one can help us but ourselves. The irony is, when we reach that place, we realize that we Know nothing… and yet, it doesn’t matter anymore. We finally see that having information and understanding it are two different things.

Let me back track a bit and answer a question that I know some of you are asking: What about the passionate desire to know that fuels great discoveries and inspirations? What about the quest for knowledge that can lead us to an adventure of enlightening experiences? Isn’t the fire of curiosity what has fueled our greatest inventors, explorers and philosophers?

The quest for knowledge leads us to the open road when we have no attachment to the outcome or answer. Great discoveries are made when we don’t exactly know what we are looking for, and are willing to savor the experiences that come along the path. We may have an intuitive idea of where we are going, or what we are seeking, but our very attachment to it can make us blind to the higher and more miraculous insights along the way. Obsessive searches only yield the limited conclusions of our expectations and desires. Once we learn to differentiate between passion and obsession, we can access the pure fire of our divinity.

One of the most valuable things I have learned in the past year, is to stop asking why. Acceptance seems to have lifted another veil, allowing me to see more beauty/truth in life than ever before. The questions I have are minimal, because I know the answers will come if and when it is appropriate- whether I ask the question or not. The same energy that might have gone into "how, why and when?" now goes into being fully present in the moment. I won’t say that I have fully accomplished this feat in all moments, but I certainly have more energy to put into that as a goal. There is a great peace that comes when we stop trying to understand how, why and when. It is a great gift, to simply allow Truth to unfold in its own way and time. I cannot give, or take this Truth from anyone. I can only receive it when I surrender to the idea of possibly never knowing, and being completely content with that irony. Through this doorway, I discover a deeper and more constant flame, and I am nourished by its glowing embers in the dark nights of the soul when they come…

As a result of this place I have come to, my work with clients and students is changing. Those who want a quick fix from information will not be satisfied with what I have to say. My intent is not to tell someone what to do, but to lead them to their own higher truth. Sharing my perception is a paradox, because I don’t necessarily want you to just accept and believe this point of view: i.e., reading this article is not meant to help you "know" what you should do or how you should change. Understand that all of this is my current experience, and if it offers you a valuable insight then let it inspire you. If not, then let it motivate you to further define and understand your current experience. Consider entering into what is called "Beginner’s Mind," by using this mantra in your meditation: "I know nothing…"

By knowing nothing, comes the discovery of everything. You create an empty space, which is an invitation to be filled. We are so arrogant, clinging to the self-deception of knowing. The more we explore the vastness of the multidimensional Universe we live in, the more we must admit that we know nothing. And yet, every cell of our body carries the knowledge of the Universe. We have our opinions, our perceptions, our ideas. We can truly believe that we are right, that we have the answers… but how it does limit us! We believe that if we don’t have the answers (Heaven forbid!) then - well - we should have them, shouldn’t we?… We put so much energy into that delusion. How can we begin to Know with our body, mind and Spirit - simultaneously and without attachment? Meditation, prayer, and entering into simplicity…